As for my weekend, and THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY, I plan to do as little as possible (read: work tonight, maybe tomorrow, definitely Sunday, oh and go out as much as the weather will allow).  Kiiiiinda Definitely starting to get old, this seven days a week thing.  But really, if my schedule doesn't change, I'm going to put in my two weeks.

Other than work I've succumbed to the, ahem, Twilight series. And I'm kiiiiind of embarrassed about that because Edward Cullen? Is supposed to be what, like 17? So that should take up a few hours as I'm almost finished with the second book.

And finally, completely unrelated, my shoes came in tonight from Target.com and I am really excited!

Good start to the weekend, good start.

Hi Pat, this is Girl. From the paper. Again. I KNOW YOU ARE THERE! I know you are sitting at that desk, watching my THIRD phone call IN AN HOUR ring through to your voicemail.  I was calling to let you know that the deadline yesterday at four? That I bent over backwards to help you meet, even though we didn't hear from you until FIVE? Yes, that deadline has come and gone, and we are still missing your signature.  Yet, because this company likes to please its clients (even though YOU SUCK), we've still given you the early deadline discount. And don't tempt me, Pat, we'll bill you that 5% in a heartbeat. I realize that you are a busy woman, but that phone of yours? Was meant to be answered. So PAT, I'd appreciate a call back, at your earliest convenience, which I realize is never.  Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you!"

Needless to say that by midnight? I should have called it quits. Until we ran into my friend Phil, who may or may not have a huge crush on me (oh why).... and his friends Cory, who was immediately attracted to my friend Val, and Paul, who is getting married in three weeks. We ended up at Trash Bar, dancing the night away, where I taught Paul all my sweet dance moves (a.k.a. shaking of the hips and flailing of the arms in a manner which calls unnecessary attention to oneself). He got a kick out of it and played right along, coming up with a few moves of his own. Damn, the good ones are always taken.

I'm finally recovering, and today is the first deadline for the work thats been stressing me out all week, so things will go home one of two ways from here: I will come home crying, or I will come home ready to drink. The first being more likely. Thank God I have yoga tonight....

Friday I worked all day between my 9-5 and the retail job that I picked back up. Roommate and I (I really need to figure a way to differentiate the two in the blog world--I'll get to it) went out for a bit to our friend Danny's birthday party, but I was exhausted so we called it a night early.

Saturday from 12-7 I worked retail. I just started and have never worked with these girls before, but wow are they a step up from the one in Small College Town where I worked occasionally. Saturday night was Roommate night out. One of the fraternities we hang out with had a band party on the back deck at Jr's, so we started out there. Let me just say, living in the South, outside in the summer? Not a fun combo. Even at night. I think I sweated a gallon and was destined to be miserable for the rest of the night until we decided to leave. After that we headed to visit Cute Little Bartender (a guy I met on my birthday, waaaay back when), had one more drink, and called it a night.

This morning I woke up and had to work AGAIN, 12-4. Have I mentioned (through gritted teeth) how much I absolutely love working? I did a bit of shopping at the mall--this could turn out to be bad--and headed home for a nap. Roommate and I went to the grocery store tonight and I was craving everything and nothing at the same time, so I ended up with apple pie for dinner. Goes right along with my workouts, right? And I rented the end and beginning of seasons one and two of LOST because, F-you, ABC, your online video streamer SUCKS and always times out at the most inconvenient times, like WHAT IS JACK GOING TO DO ABOUT HURLEY CROSSING THE BRIDGE kinda times and I can't handle it. Again, let me mention my love for Dr. Jack Shepherd. Please believe I wouldn't mind being stuck on an island with him. Mmhmm.

So that was my thrilling weekend. I'm going home next for Father's Day, and all I got on my calendar this week is LOST, work, LOST, work, sleep, play, LOST, work out and that about covers it! I hope your weekend was more fun than mine!

But sometimes I forget all of it and don't know what to do. I'm frustrated and I don't know what I want to do with my life. I am terrified of being single forever and growing old alone.  I am not certain that not taking classes this summer was the right choice, even though I don't need to help my grades, nor would it help me graduate early.  I am sick of my job because I know sales is NOT what I want, and believe me, If I could do something that would (supposedly) look as good on my fucking resume and paid as much I would do it.  I'm upset because at one point I was on top of my game, super studious, somewhat distinguished with my Dean's List and involvement.  And now, at this big university, I am nothing but mediocre. I am only an achiever in a world of over achievers.   And I'm frustrated.  I started out doing what I thought was right, and now I don't have a clue.

Somehow I'm beginning to think this isn't what I asked for.

All day I've been listening to my friend Dave blare whatever he wants in our study room. Now that I have control (thank God), we're listening to Copeland's album "In Motion."

Just completed my art history final. So help me God, I will never take another art class again.

This morning I drank three cups of coffee on an empty stomach. I don't suggest it. Now I feel all cracked out and shaky and about to throw up the nasty vending machine crackers I ate after I realized my coffee mistake.

I also realized around 2:30 this morning while I was frantically memorizing dates that I have currently already forgotten that the greatest thing I have learned in college so far is what I don't want to do when I get out of here.  Case-in-point: advertising.  At least, different aspects of the business that had once seemed interesting.  Also, art. And Spanish.  I thought, prior to Advertising Strategies and this damn art class, that I was passionate about art and a pretty creative person, and I thought I wanted to minor in Spanish. AU CONTRAIRE.  I also realized that school (namely this big university that I oh-so-love, and because what I am about to say had not happened back in Small Town) is giving. me. gray. hairs. VISIBLY. AT 21! (Although a side note-- while the gray is NOT becoming on myself, it is absolutely adorable on the boy that lives a few buildings down--he can definitely rock it.  Just saying).

P.S. I am going to see Sara Bareilles ("Love Song"... from the commercial...you know you like it) in the city tonight! Can I afford to take a night off? Not exactly but I'll manage.

I really don't know how much longer I can handle this, myself, right now. I am certain to break, to just lose it at any given moment. Kate, my roommate, and I were studying with another friend tonight, and I probably came pretty close. You try crunching $25 million into a media plan given NO DEFINITE NUMBERS.

Not to mention that nothing. is. happening. in my love life. I have not let myself think about Cute Neighbor all week (but now that I do, I haven't seen him in a while), and my stalker tendencies (thanks, Facebook) have shown that any other prospects (Favorite Little Bartender, he's a newer one) are probably not prospects after all.

This weekend is definitely going to require a little wine therapy and relaxation, the latter being highly unlikely. How the hell am I supposed to survive the next two weeks if I can't even sit still for a minute?

Everything that is wrong right now:

• Incessant rambling on blog. This bugs me.
• No money. Until Friday. Then I will have to pay off my credit card first. Damn credit card.
• Advertising? My major? I hate it. Planning, Strategies, Sales, everything. Hate it. And consequently, my grades suck.
• This feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach, that I've been carrying around since Monday. And the tears welling in my eyes as I write because I can't fully pinpoint what's wrong, just what isn't right. I just want to take a break from my life right now. Like, escape for a week and just get. away. from. everything.

Guess I'm going to sleep on it.

P.S. My title is a line from "Mona Lisa" by Sister Hazel.

It will go perfect at BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN!!! tomorrow night--the only thing that's gotten me through the week. I'm driving over to the city tomorrow after class and meeting my parents and my best friend Ann and her family, who is pretty much my second family. We're going out after the Boss with my cousins, too. CAN'T WAIT.

My last deadline for work is today (thank God), and I have a week off and a week on then a WHOLE MONTH OFF from advertising sales. I need it, too. I'm headed to my parents house in the South. I'm going to be lazy, shop, go to the beach, and eat--my Mom could cook anyone off the Food Network under the table. No joke.

Now I'm listening to Jason Mraz's "Details in the Fabric" that I got off of iTunes last night. It's pretty good (except for the beginning and the end--kinda weird) especially if you like acoustic stuff.

Incredibly long story short: My group presented without me, however they don't hate me (Thank. God.) My professor? Another story. He knows I put forth a lot of effort, but REALLY? I MISSED THE fucking PRESENTATION. How is that NOT going to hurt my grade?

So after freaking out all day, I am officially spent. Is it summer yet?

P.S. Has anyone ever noticed that Debbie Matenopolous stands and moves like a freak on The Daily 10?

Update on Cute Neighbor--sure, I will always melt when he talks in that goofy voice and puts so much emotion into telling the most ridiculous stories, but I really can't emotionally go there right now. Too much other shit to worry about, not to mention that in approximately FOUR WEEKS he will be graduating. Graduating. Meaning, leaving college behind, aborting "neighbor" status and moving out. & I have needs. Like I NEED TO DATE SOMEONE THAT LIVES IN THE SAME CITY AS ME. OH why me. (Dramatic much?)

Вече мога да се отдам на мисли за отпуски, моренца, лоу-кост пътувания, да яхваме тотката и да заминаваме за Бургас! :)

- Where can I put this important document so it won't get lost in your desk clutter?

- I'll flatten my hair so you can leave it on top of my head. Are you happy?

- I didn't know happy was an option.

***
или товa

Лошото е че и аз го правя (ма с отвращение) и рядко ме хващат. Но то си строи там и чака сгодния момент да се покаже.

Yesterday my cousin and I went for a run around the lake near my house. It was more trails and hills than anything else, and I can already feel it in my butt. That's when you know you're working it (cue the Rocky themesong). I'm working on eating healthier and exercising often--nothing if not to take my mind away from everything else going on in my crazy life.

I went to Sister Hazel with two girls I work with last night also. Ah-mazing. Not to mention that I think I love everything I've ever heard from them, and that they were great live. A great end to the hellacious first half of this week.

Last but not least, a guy I used to hang around with when I was younger is coming up for a night this weekend (should be interesting). I plan on going out both nights and drinking rediculous amounts of wine, hitting on my cute little bartender, and having as much fun as possible.

Is it Friday yet?

Сега ще трябва да се подготвям (по-скоро психически, че комуникациите не са ми силна страна) и да придобия представителен вид (кога като работния ми ден е 12-13 часа?).

Малко ми се струва че ще си изгубя времето вместо да го отдам на нещо което мога по-добре, но от друга страна ще ми е лично предизвикателство да тествам презентационните си умения.